Men: your days of doing nothing are over!
We live in an Enlightened age for masculinity. With stay at home dads on the rise, and a whole host of other career and life choices on offer. Jobs and lifestyles that would have been unthinkable (and considered “unmanly”) for our fathers and (for certain) our Grandfathers’ generations. That’s why this wedding planning groom advice blog is a must. Of course here at Pissup however Enlightened or otherwise you are you can get up to some classic lads on tour mayhem on Riga Stag Do with guns, birds and booze galore…
Anyway, whether these changes are good or bad is not for us say (we don’t do politics). But for sure the time when men could just sit back in their string vests letting ‘the missus’ and future mother-in-laws get on with planning the wedding is probably over.
That’s not to say you lads will be expected to be as involved as your spouse in planning the wedding. But you will need to give some input on planning the thing. So check out our wedding planning groom advice blog for some top tips
1. Pick your Battles (leave it to the bride)
You’ll need to pick your battles wisely. Remember when it comes to weddings your bride will have *probably* been dreaming about this moment since she was very young. While you were dreaming of Hugh Hefner-style bachelorhood, she was imagining being taken down the isle by prince charming. That means if you’re dealing with someone’s wish-fulfilment, get out of the way – especially if it’s something you don’t really care about. There are things you’re going to have to give up, and those things will probably be things you’ll want to give up (unless you’re some kind of aesthete).
Those include: wedding invitation designs, the dress, anything involving the bridesmaids, the Hen party (obviously), the table decorations, and indeed any kind of style-based decision that isn’t your suit (and we’re including the cake, here).
You may be the exception to the rule here and be so Enlightened that you take over everything. If so discount the advice. However if you are in the majority, then back off – and concentrate on making sure suit looks good, and your best man has sorted out the Bar Crawl in Prague.
2. The Wedding Location
Now unlike the stylistic choices above where you will marry is something you should have a say on. It may well be that you have religious or culture preferences to deal with. As well as logistic ones if your bride to be is from another country. But lets try to imagine both sets of family are based in the UK. Do you have your wedding in your home town, or hers? Or if you’re both based on different sides of the country do you have it in the middle for convenience? What about expense, do you have it in a stately home? Or at a registry office?
All these questions are really up to you to answer. But in terms of advice we would suggest you aim for quality (as well as compromise). Don’t pick a place just for the fact that it’s easier to get to, and more people will come. This day is supposed to be extra special. This is something that you will (fingers crossed) look back on as one of the happiest days in your life (yes yes, bring out the Kleenex) that you can tell your children and grandchildren about. So if you’re lucky and have a great venue a hop skip and a jump from your house, then all to the good. But don’t (if you can afford it) sacrifice quality for convenience.
3. The Reception
As you’ll know from sitting through weddings yourself, there comes a point (usually after the wedding in the parking lot while everyone is milling about) that you want to get straight to the reception and starting partying. The couple has said their vows, they’ve signed the marriage contract, and many photos have been taken…now it’s time for the reception. But where and what kind of reception do you want? Again like the wedding venue you might have some sentimental attachment to a place where you hang out a lot (your local) or another venue that you (or the bride) has always wanted to go to.
Nevertheless you should try to aim for both quality and convenience this time – aka having your cake and eating it. That means try to organise a reception/party venue that is close enough to where the wedding will take place. But also somewhere that is designed for both eating and drinking and generally being merry.
4. The Entertainment (Music, Food, Booze)
That leads us to our final and in some ways most important point. You may have decided to hold the wedding that looks something like the Brideshead Revisited or the Downton Abbey House – but first you need to make sure that it is a practical venue for partying it up. Once you’ve got that established – i.e. that they are cool with your aunts and uncles breaking into song at 1am – then you need to concentrate on the big three: 1) what music you’re going to have, 2) how much food you will provide, and 3) the booze question.
First, Music: the choice is usually a stark one between having a wedding singer or hiring a DJ. But unless it’s a band that you both love, and who can deal with drunken requests from the crowd, a DJ seems like the best option. But make sure the DJ is one who has a good range of tunes on offer, and not just club classics and ABBA (or better yet, compile a decent list for him/her to play).
Second, Food: choosing to have a three course sit-down meal is probably the ‘safest’ choice when it comes to weddings. A buffet is a good idea as an addition to the meal – especially for friends who are only invited to the party. A top tip if you want to keep the costs down is to invite fewer people. It might sound harsh but if you’re up front about it your friends, colleagues, distant relations will understand.
Third, Booze: according to a study by Confetti.com the majority of couples surveyed (over 30%) spend up to £10,000 on a wedding (and slightly less spend up to £20,000) – so it’s highly likely that unless your money supply is infinite you will want to try to keep costs down. When it comes to booze at weddings we Brits know, there are no limits. That’s why it’s up to you to set them. Put money behind the bar up to a certain amount to ensure everyone gets a free drink or two. But don’t feel you need to be P. Diddy circa the late 90s and buy the bar! After the booze is flowing they will end up doing it themselves.
Like our wedding planning groom advice? Well get in touch and we can help you organise a stag weekend that will go down in legend.