What are the most important Best Man Duties?
There’s more to being a best man than simply giving a hastily written speech at the wedding after a few drinks. Everyone knows that best man’s speech and the stag weekend is key for success – in the eyes of the groom and bride – but there are plenty of other best man duties that you’ll have to take on. If your mate’s asked you to take on the role of best man, then you should take it seriously. You need to behave like the first mate on ship. To use a sailing metaphor: You should be supporting the captain at the tiller, helping him steer a course through the storm. What we mean is, this isn’t a time to kick back and get leathered.
But what best man duties are there? We’ll we’ve come up with 7 key best man duties. Some of them are more obvious than others. But all are essential to get right IF you want to make your mate and his bride to be happy.
Before the Wedding…
1. The Plans
Planning the wedding is obviously not something that will be expected of you. However if your mate needs advice then you should be there to help. It might be that him and his wife-to-be need some help with finding a venue for the wedding reception or help sorting out the DJ or band for the party.
Organising the stag weekend is something that is number 1 in the list of duties. And we have tonnes of awesome destinations and activities, plus a whole load of expertise, to make sure the groom and all the boys have kick-ass weekend.
2. The Clothes
Clothes maketh the man, and how you look on the wedding day will certainly effect how you feel. But often what you wear may st out of your hands. It’s really up to the bride and groom how they want you coordinated (hopefully they won’t have you in a canary yellow suit).
But again, as with planning the wedding, be prepared to offer some advice on what to wear. Remember that you will have to spend the day – with all eyes on you – in the same outfit. So if you can influence the decision to your favour there’s no harm in trying. Even if you’re a generally slovenly chap who likes to walk around with last nights curry on your sleeve, try to keep clean whatever monkey suit they’ve put you in. A best man should look his best (clue’s in the title!) – but you should also make sure the groom looks spic and span for the big day. Don’t let him leave the house with any stains or dirt on his suit!
On the Day…
3. The Transport
In terms of duties on your best man checklist this one is less than obvious. When it comes to wedding transport probably the idea of the happy bride and groom zooming off from the church in a Rolls Royce garlanded with flowers comes to mind. Well booking the Rolls (or the Chrysler Limo) is the easy part, but getting the groom to the wedding itself is just as important. So our advice is to think about logistics, how long is he going to need to get from a to be. And importantly, on the day, what are the traffic levels like and are there alternative routes if there are roadworks, etc.
4. Your Troops, the Ring
Typically the ushers are usually youngsters, nephews, cousins; or if those are in short supply, mates. These are the guys who’ll be walking around like a pair of penguins in their suits and shoes, trying to skive off and having some banter (we’ve all been there!). But when it comes to the church these guys are your crack troops. They need to know how important it is to behave well and act the part – so bribe, cajole, threaten them…because its on you if they get caught jumping up and down on the pews dousing each other with holy water. Likewise, making sure the ring is safe and secure is another key best man essential so, as Gandalf says, ‘keep it secret, keep it safe. And if there is a ring bearer the groom will look to you first if the little chap is holding an invisible box in his hands.
After they’ve tied the knot…
5. The Speech
The speech is one of the most important duties for a best man there is – high on your best man checklist. You could be excellently turned out, have sailed through a weekend in Barcelona, and had a smooth time in the church – but if the speech turns out badly then it will have all been for nothing. We have tonnes of advice on this elsewhere, but two rules golden rules should be clear in your mind: preparation, and sobriety.
6. The Party
Phew…The wedding is done with, and you’ve got through the speech without offending anyone or embarrassing yourself. Now you can relax and get wasted…wrong! Now is not the time to line up shots on the bar and start chatting up the bride’s friends’. You should have fun of course, and we’re not advising you to be a monk for the night. But you can’t be staggering about the place three sheets to the wind. Your duty is to make sure everyone is having a good time. You need a little bit clear headed to put out any fires before they spread.
7. The Support
This is really an attitude rather than a best man duty, but nevertheless it applies to the moment you are asked by your mate to be the best man. Although we Brits have a problem with pappy statements like ‘you need to be there for him’, that’s exactly what you need to do. Being a support, a crutch, is part of the job description. If you’re not going to give him advice, sort out the stag do weekend at the last minute, have no idea about what you should wear, then he might question whether you’re up for the job. So make sure – even if it’s out of character – that you can lend your support anytime he needs it.
Like our list of the top 7 duties for a best man? Need to organise a stag weekend? Well contact us and we can make sure you organise an awesome weekend that will go down in legend!